19 Comments
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Bucky Sinister's avatar

In a three person centipede, it’s two butts sewn to two faces. So I’m counting 512 butts to 512 faces, unless you sew them up ouroboros-style. Which is a possibility for another sequel

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Elissa Bassist's avatar

Fact-checking is so important. Thank you, Bucky! I'll make this important correction immediately.

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Elissa Bassist's avatar

Update: corrected. See above.

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Bucky Sinister's avatar

BTW I love that you have written so much about rejection. The majority of responses we get as writers in the submission phase is rejection, and it feels like we're the only ones! We only see the acceptance of others, but not how many times they got turned down or ignored. It's easy for me to think that ___ submitted to one agent, got accepted, then got a great deal and assume that it's all going well for them.

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Story Carrier's avatar

This is wonderful! In all my years as a writer and writing professor (too many to list here and it's no one's business), I think this might be the best writing advice I've seen. Perfectionism is my drug as well--I'm still recovering. Now, I just want to be as nasty and mean as possible, to drive my point like a stake to the heart of the readers.

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Jenn Belden's avatar

Hilarious AND helpful, and I’m also slapping my head from your OCD therapy comment as my teen is in the thick of therapy for their OCD and I feel like I’ve been reading and saying “you gotta sit with it” (the discomfort) - all the while they are banging on about my own self-deprecating comments. (It’s my best coping skill!) and yet NEVER THINKING to apply it to my writers block. Thank you.

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Summer Koester's avatar

Now I keep thinking about how semicolons make me an asshole 😂

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Danielle Kraese's avatar

I needed this! And for whatever it’s worth this newsletter and your book are forever on my “best of” list

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Tawny Lara's avatar

Another brilliant/hilarious piece as always! A writing teaching once told me “let yourself write bad” and this piece reminds me of that. There’d be no Dry Humping if I didn’t let myself write bad enough to eventually be good.

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Elissa Bassist's avatar

<3 So many great books wouldn't exist if the authors didn't let themselves suck.

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Erica Anzalone's avatar

Elissa, thank you for resurrecting Human Centipede! Unrelatedly I thought for a second that Timothy Chalamet was single today and this was your chance! In truth, I just mixed up two of the Kardashians. (One just split with Bad Bunny...)

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Elissa Bassist's avatar

Still, I need to prepare for the day when Tim is single so I can slide into his every DM.

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Erica Anzalone's avatar

YES. In the meantime, please make some rap video parodies of his self-parodies on SNL.

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Summer Koester's avatar

This was amazing, and even more hilarious listening to it with the audio option!

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Elissa Bassist's avatar

Omg there's an audio option?! I cannot wait to listen to my audiobook of The Human Centipede!

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Summer Koester's avatar

Yasss!

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Constance Ford's avatar

Thank you for this!

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Audrey Farnsworth's avatar

Your book was my favorite book of 2022 and this post was very helpful and you are a great writer 💗

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Karl Straub's avatar

There’s some overlap between this “write like an idiot” and Kenny Werner’s book about jazz improvisation where you have to stop caring about sounding bad. His book didn’t have any of the taint-to-mouth content, at least in the chapters I read.

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